Me, Myself and Memories

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  Noreen 7:32 am on January 11, 2015 Permalink  

  It Has Been a Year – 

  A year ago today I came home from the Mankato Mayo Hospital with my new shoulder . . . second new shoulder.  The year surely has not gone slow.

  I can tell you that pain from shoulders that were encased in arthritis is no more.  I had spent the gardening season of 2014 doing pretty much what I have always done, enjoying it to no end.  The quilting has been progressing quite nicely.  There were several wall hangings that I hated to see come to an end as beading is very relaxing for me as well as keeping the sewing machine needle 1/8 inch from the edge of any given image.  There are so many things in my day-to-day life that I do without thinking about it.

  A few items in the kitchen are accomplished in unique ways.  I can no longer hold a mixing bowl up high enough in my left arm to use a rubber scrapper to get the contents into a pan or dish with my right arm.  Neither arm has the ease of the arc that it takes.  I can open the towel drawer that is just below waist level and make sure the towels are stacked to the very top of the drawer, the pan or dish setting on the towels is the perfect height for me to empty that mixing bowl.  I no longer lift multiple items up into the cupboards.  The items that I use often are no higher than the second shelf in the cabinets.

  Our bathroom has less clutter as the curling iron and blow dryer can no longer be manipulated.  The motion of my arms can reach the top of my head, but the additional extension of a handle of the curling iron or blow dryer takes my arm out and away from my head that is beyond me having any control of the arm and hands.  That is not an unusual end result of the reverse shoulder surgeries.   With muscles and tendons and nerves being reassigned motion, there is a surgical limit.  I had worn my hair very short for most of my adult life.  The change of growing it out to a length that will be maintained by simply brushing it is taking a bit, but I know that will be doable.

  There is one more thing that still has me working on it a year after the fact.  It is holding a fork for eating.  The right arm and elbow tend to not want to tuck close to the side of my body to allow for the forearm and wrist to make that nice smooth movement to the mouth.  I know it is less than a smooth movement.  The fork hits the target every time if the elbow is out a bit from the side of my body.  I don’t make anything out of it, and for the most part, I don’t think anyone notices.  While eating alone there is not a problem, but I could take someone out that would be sitting rather close to the right of me at a full dining situation.

  So a year has passed and life is oh so good.  My main objective is to get through the winter months staying upright on the snow and ice.  The tuck and role method of a fall most likely would take out one of the shoulders.  I know myself well enough that if I fell forward, I would put out my hands to break the fall to protect the two titanium knees, and that would jar the shoulders to the extreme.  Like I said, staying upright is the objective for the 2015 year and thereafter.  Life as I know it, is pretty darn good.

   
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  Noreen 5:02 am on January 10, 2015 Permalink  

  This evening was the “cook’s night off.” We have a new Subway structure and it seemed a good night to try it out. Always good food and very fresh veggies for the toppings. It was very much enjoyed and considered a real treat. I had made Dennis’ favorite meal of liver and onions last night and had half kidded that the kitchen would be taking some time off.

   
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  Noreen 5:55 am on January 9, 2015 Permalink  

  It Is A Challenge 

  

  It would have been wonderful to be able to visit with Carrie and Kevin’s grandmother, Esther, in regard to this stitch. Esther could crochet in her sleep. The stitch is referred to as the Chevron stitch. It sure was more than any stitch I had tackled before. I need a seven inch square of this stitch and my hands will be taking quite a few breaks in between rows. Blocking will do wonders to enhance the square.

   

   
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  Noreen 6:16 am on January 8, 2015 Permalink  

  Today in the cold and wind, we needed to be in Mankato for several appointments. Not very many years ago . . . well maybe decades ago, there would not have been a trip anywhere from home when the temperatures were in the minus. In today’s world, our vehicles are more trustworthy. There were a few vehicles parked beside the highway that had not been made aware of that. Dennis and I were very happy to arrive safely home in the late afternoon, appointments met and a few additional errands run. Oh, how we love our little home on Stauffer Avenue.

   
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  Noreen 4:18 am on January 7, 2015 Permalink  

  Small town heroes are still in our midst. The early morning hours of the 27th of December we had several inches of snow. Ever ready Dennis went out in the morning and got our the snow blower. After two passes on the drive it abruptly stopped. It has some age on it and every season has been a blessing. With help, Dennis took it out to a repair fellow that fixes some items on the side. As luck would have it, Charlie and his family were taking in a Christmas vacation. Charlie came home on the 5th of January and here we are on the 6th of January and Dennis is on his way to Charlie’s to pick up the snow blower. The cost: $25.00.  One of the main belts needed to be replaced.  Dennis could push it and it would blow snow, but the heft that it took, was not wise.  All is well thanks to small town hero, Charlie.

   
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  Noreen 4:43 am on January 6, 2015 Permalink  

  Quiet has returned to Stauffer Avenue. Dennis and I agree that sometimes we need that reminder as to how our home is our safe refuge and it may be more than some want bad enough to put in the prayer, time and energy. On a light note, I pulled a crochet pattern out and are giving the arthritic fingers a working out during these chilly days. It worked for Carrie and Kevin’s grandmother, Esther Schafer. If you don’t use the fingers, they enjoy getting a bit stiff and brittle.

   
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  Noreen 12:05 am on January 5, 2015 Permalink  

  A Post Script on ‘So Not Prepared’ 

  As Paul Harvey would tell us, it is the rest of the story thus far.

  As I told you, yesterday was Dennis’ day to take in a trade show 40 miles from home.  When the police officer brought Dennis’ son here yesterday at noon under the influence, the agreement after a phone call to Dennis was that Jeff was to stay in our heated garage porch until Dennis got home.  I gave Dennis credit.  The trade show lasted until five and Dennis came home after the show closed.  This had been his plan, and Jeff or no Jeff, he meant to have it.  Does it sound awful?  No, this was not our first rodeo with Jeff.  Jeff was dropped off here wearing a sweatshirt and jeans.  The day did progress to getting colder by the hour.  The heat in the garage porch never goes below 40-45, so I knew one of two things: Jeff would not freeze to death and he had been here in the garage porch before, he knew where the thermostat was.

  When Dennis came home, I stayed in the house and dad and son would have to look at each other face to face.  By this time Jeff was sober, but he would not talk to his dad.  Sullen silence is all Dennis got.  Earlier in the week, Dennis and I had made plans to venture over to see nephew Brett for a visit.  With no response from Jeff, Dennis told him to either stay in the porch till we got home or find somewhere else.  Jeff probably would have been gone when we got home, if the phone in the porch had been in working order,  and by this time the snow was beginning to fall and the wind was fierce.  We did stop and pick up a takeout food package for Jeff as we knew he had not eaten for some time.

  When we got home I went directly into the house and Dennis headed back to the garage porch with food for Jeff.  When Dennis came in and ask me to get the sleeping bag from the attic, I knew what Jeff was in for.  Not willing to talk to the dad, who he had asked to be taken to in his hour of need by the police officer, was the last straw for my ole cowboy Dennis.  This may very well have felt to Jeff as if he were homeless.  Well . . . to wrap up that scenario, no one from Watonwan County Human Services knocked on our door to take us in for inhuman treatment.

  This morning, Dennis took coffee out to the garage porch and the plan was that Jeff would have to spend the day with Dennis as Dennis took Jeff along to the last day of the trade show.  Via phone communication, after the trade show, Dennis will take Jeff to a determined location between here and there and Jeff and the gal that he came to St. James with will finish this drama . . . not.  The only thing Dennis knew for sure, Dennis would be coming home alone.

  There comes a time when Dennis and I feel we are definitely too old for some events in this world.  Families, and I mean all families have issues, but dealing with alcohol is a no win.  The “no win” is real and lasting and can be fatal.  For the life of me, all other issues among family members is mute.  Those issues are trivial and not life threatening. Dennis and I are so proud and happy to be parents of seven children, yes that includes Jeff, grandparents to ten and great grandparents to six, but our energies are needed for all of the family, not just for the one that pulls with one hand and pushes back with both hands.

  The sun is out today and even if the temps are sub-zero, I pray that when Dennis comes home this evening he will feel okay.  This weekend, as sad and emotionally draining as it was, still put Dennis in a place of having to be real with his child.  No matter how often Jeff has put his dad through this, it never gets easier.   I know that when Dennis does drop off Jeff, Jeff will know that we are not in, or up to, this type of a visit in the anywhere near future.  On second thought, Jeff won’t get it.

   
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  Noreen 4:10 am on January 4, 2015 Permalink  

  So Not Prepared 

  All good things must come to an end . . . whether we are ready for it for not.

  Dennis headed to Fairmont this morning to take in a trade show and catch up with friends who only see each other a few times a year.  The weekend event had been on Dennis’ agenda for some time.

  I began the Saturday morning with the Swiffer to take in all the dust bunnies.  It is amazing how much lint can accumulate with just the two of us trumping through the home.  Our laundry area is right off the kitchen, so I can respect that some of the bunnies escape in the general handling of clothes.  As per the lint screen, I would be hard pressed to realize that there was more that could escape.

  I was startled when I heard pounding on the door at the same time that the doorbell was ringing.  When I saw a police officer, my heart immediately raced thinking of Dennis’ well being.  Very politely the officer ask to come in and then he informed me that he had brought Jeff Curry to our garage porch.  The officer went on to say Jeff was drunk and had been abandoned at the Super 8 Motel, by the woman who he and had checked in with the night before.  I was so not prepared for this.  Jeff had moved to Iowa sometime in the last four months, but it was not unusual that he would not stay in contact.

  Jeff, at the age of 50, has battled alcohol for decades.  When he is sober, you could not ask for a better person or worker.   His skills in carpentry and all types of construction are stellar.  Oh yes, he is always so sure he can handle “just one.”

  So, here we are.  One more time, out of how many times of having to wonder what to do with Jeff?  I called Dennis and allowed him to know what was going on.  The police officer and Dennis agreed that Jeff should stay in the porch until Dennis could get home.  I was advised by the police to stay in the house with the door locked.  People under the influence can be very persuasive and Jeff is a pro at it.  In all honesty I cannot recount how many times we have been taken in emotionally – and financially.

  I have no idea how this Saturday that started off so wonderfully will end.  Jeff cannot stay here.  Jeff’s two sisters here in town will not let him stay with them.  When I informed the police officer that there was no where Jeff would be taken in, I did feel guilty.  The officer was kind and reassured me that tough love cannot, and should not, waver.  He also commented that the lifestyle of those who maintain their lifestyle through responsible behavior do not jeopardize that for an individual who has perhaps burned all the bridges afforded them.

  Time will tell.  I am waiting for Dennis to come home and I could not begin to know how this will end. This is not how 2015 should begin.

   
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  Noreen 5:38 am on January 3, 2015 Permalink  

  It was a gray raw day, but I had a list of errands that I wanted to run. It was a great feeling coming home and knowing that the day went just like it was planned. Priceless.

   
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  Noreen 6:44 am on January 2, 2015 Permalink  

  It Was Time 

  I was sad taking down the Christmas finery.  Megan decorated the home when she was here the day after Thanksgiving.  There was never a day since, that we were home that the tree lights were not lit.  It had a profound relaxing effect on me.

  I have a large tote with a red cover that holds 98% of the goodies.  The contents are put in much like a puzzle with each item wrapped in tissue paper.  All the ornaments are precious to me as I know the pain of having to replace what is near and dear.

  In  1992 we had a huge 10 inch rain in the month of June and the storm sewers could not handle the amount that needed to funnel down to our street intersection.  The water coming up from the floor drain and sewage coming back up from the toilet amounted to four feet deep in our basement.  Many items stored on shelves were floating in the mess, including the Christmas decoration boxes.  Many of the wonderful ornaments that Carrie and Kevin had made in grade school were gone.   The next Christmas, we had a tree with lights on it and multiple candy canes.  It was hard starting over.

  

  A simple crocheted cross does tell us that Jesus is the reason.

  We did start over and as Megan put each one on the tree, I could remember what it was that had spurred me on to purchase each one.   There are also ornaments that have special meaning. Carrie and her family gave us an ornament of blown glass that has a grandma and grandpa huddled together. Kevin and Kersten gave us an ornament that has their wedding photo on it.  Dennis’ granddaughter Sadie sent an ornament from Iraq when she was stationed there.  I did enjoy wrapping those and every other one to be safe until next year.

  The tote with the red cover is back up in the attic where it has been stored since the basement incident.  The tote does gets a bit heavy, but I know that other than a tornado, it  is safe.

  Christmas of 2014 is officially over, but I must admit, the Christmas I hold inside of me year round gets me through some very difficult times.  Because Jesus is the reason, I understand the wear and tear of my body that He has given me to be a steward of.  Because Jesus is the reason, I can openly weep when family members are going through stressful times, knowing that though I cannot physically help them, He will hear my prayers.  Because Jesus is the reason, my wants are so small, as I find comfort in Him. Because Jesus is the reason, I know I can feel giddy and hum a tune for no reason at all, as He has kept the child within me to live and laugh, allowing for a good balance in my day to day life.  Because Jesus is the reason, I do love my life.

  In life, please remember to give and have no memory of it, or take and remember it always.